Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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