let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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