4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
