He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
