Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
