I need to stop coming to work sober
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
