I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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