My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
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