you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
