it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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