giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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