direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
