We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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