He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
