i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
