Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
