He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
