just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
im holly from the hills drunk
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
