i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
