Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize