i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
