I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Randomize
