can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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