i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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