My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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