The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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