omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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