I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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