he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
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Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
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Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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