i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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