i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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