Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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