I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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