is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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