that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
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