i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
