there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
