They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
