I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You may now shotgun with the bride
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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