he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
