her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
im holly from the hills drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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