i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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