It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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