on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
