something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
this hospital has no fireball
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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