we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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