if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
My butt remains clenched, sir.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
