i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
