Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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