yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Randomize
