i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
