Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
