I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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