Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
