ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
