I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
