am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize