I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize