True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY