You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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