it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
