he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
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