On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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