im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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